Who is right?

He tied a red shawl on her eyes. He caressed her neck and lifted her nighty up. She was enjoying his touch.

I was watching this movie doing my dishes.

My hands were working automatically when my mind was occupied with how the heroine was loved by her husband in the movie. I was yearning for this. I have been yearning for this for a very long time. 10 years to be exact.

Yes! I have been married so long.

My feminine side is yearning to be taken away. To be carried off to unexplored land. When I feel that I want to fly to another place where none of the morals exist. Where I can have sex irrespective of gender, race or marital status.

Every inch of my body years for his touch.

I can feel his love by this touch. By his touch. It was never fulfilling for me ever since I got married and for the past 5 years it has been close to a negotiation. Some days it goes as low as pleading and sometimes to harassment.

That day when my husband said I keep touching his penis and he is unable to sleep I was shocked. I had no idea I did that. I was embarrassed. Ever since I keep a pillow in between to sleep. So that I restrict myself from touching.

I know what you are thinking. If that is the problem then have self pleasure. What’s the big deal?

I have never tried that until a year ago. I m 35 years old. I like it but meh… I couldn’t Feel its love.

I finish the dishes and drink a glass of water and go to sleep

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

I drank the glass of water when my wife said she is going to sleep. She did the dishes watching a movie when I was putting the kids to sleep.

She does so many things for the family.

She loves the kids and take care of them most days. On weekdays I am so busy with work. These software companies drain the shit out of people.

I am glad I can provide for the family.

I am dealing with septet and I am not interested in having any physical relationship with my wife.

She asks about it so many times and every time it kills me to say no. But at the same time I am not interested in doing it.

I want her to accept me and love me for who I am.

But I don’t think she understands my situation.

At least I am giving her a comfortable life. To give us a comfortable life is what my father strives to do. I am trying so hard to do the same. I am doing all these for her and kids to be happy.